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Muritoburito
Reddit, am I the arsehole? My mum (82F) told me (12M) to do the dishes (16) but I (12M) was too busy playing Fortnite (3 kills) so I (12M) grabbed my controller (DualShock 4) and threw it at her (138kph). She fucking died, and I (12M) went to prison (18 years). While in prison I (12M) incited several riots (3) and assumed leadership of a gang responsible for smuggling drugs (cocaine) into the country. I (12M) also ordered the assassination of several celebrities (Michael Jackson, Elvis Presley and Jeffrey Epstein) and planned a terrorist attack (9/11). Reddit, AITA?
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Muritoburito
I broke out in Among Us memes at church today Like everyone, I really love the hit game "Among Us" to the point where I would start to make Among Us references and quote memes whenever the game is mentioned. This has caused concern among (US AMONG US AMONG US) my family members, so I try to suppress my love for it. The trouble started at the end of church when the priest said that one prayer. I wasn't paying attention until the priest said "and dwelt among us." My parents looked at me in horror when I jumped on the pews and began shouting, "AMONGUS! AMONGUS! TWERKING YELLOW GIF!! RED IS THE IMPOSTER! I SAW HIM VENT!" My mom tried to get me down, telling me that the Lord is watching, but that only caused me to scream even louder. "JUDAS IS SUS! HE IS AN IMPOSTER!!" My dad ended up dragging me out of the church and gave me a beating when we got home. Now everybody in the church is telling my mom to get an exorcist for me and they'll pray for me.
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Muritoburito
I just busted the fattest most ludicrous nut ever I haven’t jerked the jimmy in probably 2 weeks, I wanted to see what would happen. Well like ten minutes ago I said fuck it and started to wack the Willy. I found the finest video I could find and when I nutted it shot out like a double barrel shotgun. Like baby batter just flew EVERYWHERE. In fact, it came out so fast that the very tip of my dongle where the hole is started to BURN. That’s how much came out with that much velocity. It was over my bed sheets, my crotch, and a drop even hit my WALL. I had to take off my shirt to sop it all up. That’s two weeks worth of fresh sex sauce that came out of my mollywopper in the blink of an eye. 10/10 experience, I didn’t even have post- nut clarity, I had an existential crisis.
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Muritoburito
I will spread ur cheeks lil bro 😭🙏🏾🙏🏾I betta not catch you in my comments again or it’s finna gon be OVER for you 👾
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