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AardvarKOlogY
You should try to use only good sounding rhythm alterations. Furtheron, the female singer should try to sing more naturally - this way she's suttin' that burns in your brains... and the lyrics are boring. Additionally, this gives the impression of want to sound like Schandmaul, but never will. There is a foundation where you can build upon, but this style can and should not be your final music.
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